Survivor: Coach vs. Russell

I like Survivor. I do. I can’t help it. Lately though, it seems like every season they have 1 player instead of 16 or 20 or whatever. Meaning, the entire focus (or at least a big chunk of it) is on one person. I think that the producers know the show is getting old (20 seasons!) so they like to have one person for America to root for or hate. (Or “love to hate.” I hate that expression. Or maybe I love to hate that expression.) This year it’s Russell who all the ads were calling “the biggest villain in Survivor history!!!.”

Last year it was Coach who, at the reunion show, Jeff Probst called, “The biggest villain in survivor history!!!!”

Come on. Although, I bet Coach is really pissed. Because the difference is they treated Coach like, “Oh, what a pompous buffoon! Don’t you just hate him America?”, while with Russell it’s, “He’s so smart and devious! Don’t you just hate him America?”

Here’s a look at some other Survivor players of the season from the past couple of years:
Sugar

James

Yau-Man

And my FAVORITE from the last few years:
Cirie

Although, again, I still miss you Colleen Haskell

Gap Holiday Commercial (and Hillshire Farms too)

This commercial is weird. Okay, it is VERY catchy. And yes, those boots are cute. But still. Little ethnically diverse girls prancing and cheerleading around. It’s trying to be kinda sexual, right? Right? (Am I a pedophile?) And then at 0:11 seconds, mini-Hayden Panettiere does that “I’se gonna kills you” look to the camera.

On the other hand, I do like the Hillshire Farms “Go Meat” commerical alot.

Toyota Camry Commerical

Have you seen the new Toyota Camry commercial? There’s a women’s voice over saying how her fiancee lives 400 miles away but he still drives to meet her every weekend, rain or shine. Luckily he has a Toyota Camry so 1) he’s safe, 2) makes good time, 3) is dependable.

Say what?! Going 80 miles an hour the entire time (which is impossible), that would still be 5 hours in the car! Besides the fact that he is ruining that car by driving so many unnecessary miles (every week!), what kind of relationship is this? Why can’t she ever go to meet him? What about his life? What are they going to do and where will they live after the wedding? You know his friends in the city (the ones he never gets to see anymore because he’s always on the damned road) think this guy is whipped. And he is! Commuting 10 hours a weekend! Can you imagine leaving work on Friday and then driving 5 hours to get to some b*tches house?

Dump her.

John Edwards Sex Tape?

Let’s play a quick game:

Which of the following people is rumored to have a sex tape?

A) Britney Spears

B) Megan Fox

C) John Edwards

(Although, to be fair, the first two probably have them too.)

Pizza “The Hut” Hut updates for texting youth of America

Pizza Hut is changing its name to just “The Hut”. It will incorporate some healthier items like whole grain pizza and salads. Come on.

Here’s what Pizza Hut…excuse me…”The Hut” big wig Brian Niccol had to say about the switch:
“Our red box is a game changer in packaging and design. And yes, we’re also introducing another vocabulary word with Pizza Hut, which is ‘The Hut.’ That ties in nicely with [today’s] texting generation. We wanted to make sure that Pizza Hut and ‘The Hut’ become common vernacular for our brand…‘The Hut’ is the perfect icon for our mobile generation.”

I literally just want some pizza with cheese in the crust not to, you know, be part of some movement.

MTV Movie Awards: Bruno and Eminem, Staged?

Of course, it had to be. But to what degree? How must that conversation have gone? “We’d like Sascha Baron Cohen to put his ass in your face,” and Eminem is like, “Awesome. That’ll be so funny.” He’s come a long way. Good for you Marshall Mathers. I guess Elton John is a good influence.

I wonder if Eminem will say he was in on it or pretend he wasn’t. Oh, who cares. Remember when the movie awards and the VMAs were actually cool instead of manufactured cool. Or maybe my ever thinking they weren’t totally fake was just a side effect of being a teenager. Oh youth.

im dancing on the ceiling about the AI finale.

the only reason why i would possibly watch the American Idol finale tonight (ok, tivoe and the fast forward thru Seacrest) would be to watch this guy…

AI and LR have tons of things in common. Hell, just in one Lionel video “Hello, Is it me your Looking for?” we see two.

they both love blind people and doing silly things with clay.

just in case there were a couple straight men on earth who didnt want to have sex with susan sarandon…

she is opening a huge ping pong bar called Spin in NYC. she is now offically a goddess.

It’s 13,000 square feet of Olympic-quality table tennis flanked by a huge bar, private lessons, regular celeb-hosted parties.

well, it looks like someone finally redeemed their street cred after the 2002 incident, you know what im talking about…

mon-TAG you’re it!

i just watched heidi montag’s new video for her song “black out” at work. so, i left the volume off (which considering the sound of her voice, one would think thats a good idea) but now i really hope the one other person that shares my office did not turn around and see me watching. i presume that spencer directed the video… or someone who previously directed “red shoe diaries”.*

but really, you gotta hand it to her. heidi has got some serious chops. and by chops i mean fake breasts.

*did you know that matt leblanc was in an episode of RSD?

Real Housewives of New Jersey: “We’re not the Sopranos!”

Uh, No Kidding.

Caroline (the Susan Boyle of the Real Housewives series) was all, “We’re not the Sopranos!” Strangely, that was Caroline’s response after the reporter introduced himself.

First off, give props to Caroline. Looking at her you can tell she has determination. Not content with her God given role as the girl “holding her friend’s purses” at the club, Caroline must have CLAWED her way to the three car garage leaving mounds of condoms in which she had poked holes in her wake. So, there you go Caroline. No one can take that away from you.

Caroline then went on to say, “Nonsense, nonsense, nonsense…We’re Italian and geographically we happen to be where the Sopranos were set…But to put us in the same bed as that? Stop it.”

No, you stop it Caroline. Stop pretending that you could even feasibly be surprised/offended by a Soprano’s reference or that you aren’t LOVING the comparison. She will be dropping S bombs in every interview from now until eternity.