BōF, Jury Duty!

Hooray!

featuring Alex Zalben, Jen Curran, Jonathan Desley, Maegan Hayward, Grace Helbig and Mark Normand!

Also, don’t miss the LIVE show tonight at the Upright Citizens Brigade tonight at 9:30!

Survivor’s Natalie vs. Project Runway’s Althea

Are they same person?

Althea

Natalie

Eh, all white people look the same to me.

PEOPLE names Johnny Depp Sexiest Man ALIVE!

AM New York (free newspaper, woot woot) had an article about it which started like this: “He’s one pirate we wouldn’t mind walking the plank for.”

What does that mean exactly? Obviously, she meant it like “Wowza! That Johnny Depp, you know the one who starred in those pirate movies, is real sexy.” But still…

Here’s the wikipedia (free online encyclopedia, woot woot) definition of “walking the plank”

Walking the plank was a form of murder or torture thought to have been practiced by pirates, mutineers and other rogue seafarers. The victim was forced to walk off the end of a wooden plank or beam extended over the side of a ship, falling into the water to drown, sometimes with bound hands or weighed down, often into the vicinity of sharks (which would often follow ships).

Johnny Depp is that sexy? “He’s one pirate we wouldn’t mind being tortured and murdered by.”

Come on!

Golden Girls Quote.

Blanche: Oh, we have company! I’m so embarressed to be seen in this old thing!

Sophia: Don’t worry Blanche, the dress covers most of it.

Oh, Sophia. You saucy b*tch. And I mean that with respect!

In what universe…

would you look at this picture and think, “Oh that must be a pic of Ryan Seacrest and his obsessed fan”?

And I’m not saying that because the stalker is an African American. I’m saying that because who the F wants to stalk Ryan Seacrest?!@?

Toyota Camry Commerical

Have you seen the new Toyota Camry commercial? There’s a women’s voice over saying how her fiancee lives 400 miles away but he still drives to meet her every weekend, rain or shine. Luckily he has a Toyota Camry so 1) he’s safe, 2) makes good time, 3) is dependable.

Say what?! Going 80 miles an hour the entire time (which is impossible), that would still be 5 hours in the car! Besides the fact that he is ruining that car by driving so many unnecessary miles (every week!), what kind of relationship is this? Why can’t she ever go to meet him? What about his life? What are they going to do and where will they live after the wedding? You know his friends in the city (the ones he never gets to see anymore because he’s always on the damned road) think this guy is whipped. And he is! Commuting 10 hours a weekend! Can you imagine leaving work on Friday and then driving 5 hours to get to some b*tches house?

Dump her.

Biggest Loser: Shay Conspiracy? Shay-piracy?

Shay, the biggest Biggest Loser ever, was eliminated last night. I didn’t love Shay. Anytime something good happened to her (losing 17 lbs this week, setting a new record for women contestants) she was like, “Yeah, I did this! Go me! I am the best! I have character!” but anytime something not great happened (losing a challenge, hard gym workouts) she would blame others. “How can you do this to me? I am here for my life!?” So is everyone else Shay. Leave Rudy alone.

Anyway, arguably the best part of The Biggest Loser is the transformation at the end. And there was no transformation moment this week! As far as I can guess, that means Shay either lost a sh*t ton of weight since leaving or she gained a whole lot. Either way the show wants us to be shocked at the finale.

Whatever. Go Liz.